TRANSFORMATION & NEW YEAR'S WISHES

"Transforming Lead into Gold"
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

Since I 'brought the world into my home' last month, my mind has been so busy with a lot of creative ideas. I have gone crazy with myself for re-discovering my passions.

Oh, you may be wonder why I say that I brought the world into my home. I installed the internet connection at home!

The special thing about this is that: first, it is a long time dream came true. If you read my post on IT and Me, A Decade, you'll understand how hard it was to get internet access in my city. But it is not simply about this. I have always believed that my 'home' is not going to be in my parents' house in Borneo. I see beyond my future that one day I live with the One I have been in love for all these 10 years on another part of the earth. Internet, and all its online communication via VOIP (these Yahoo Messenger or Skype) is the most effective tool to stay connect face to face with mama and my father.

Secondly, it is because I did it only by half of my first (after 3.5 years) very small salary. You know, in 2004 I gave up my job to purely studying. So during those years, I did not have 'my own' money. For a girl who has a job with good money, it was hard. This year is the first time again I got a job and received my first salary. Not much, I can say it is very small, only IDR 300,000.- (less than $30.-) but it surely felt like a gift from heaven for me. And only by half of it, I could bring the world into my home. I am so happy!

You see how special it is? Believe me, you really can "transform lead into gold" my friends.

So, last December I went into cyber world right from my room, discovering new knowledge and new stories. It is so satisfying my brain since it has been half a year leaving the university. It feels like I still have my class where I can keep on learning and learning and surely stay young. And the most important of all is to re-discover my passions.

And all of a sudden I feel like my brain is like a little girl dancing and running barefoot on the field full of flowers...and there are a lot of things popping up.

One idea that popped up yesterday was: 'destroying' my skirt. I have this white long skirt made of a very soft fabric that I rarely wore it. And I have no idea how this idea came to turn this skirt into ...... a curtain!

And so there I was, sitting in my room meditatively cutting the string slowly. It was a painful job I had to do it very carefully so that I would not destroy the fabric.



Finally, I transformed it into a beautiful white curtain for my bedroom window. To make it more fairly, I stole my father's silver praying beads (which have long been abandoned) and put them on next to the curtain. They were sparkling and saying 'thank you' to me because now they were in use again. To give the last touch, I put a white crochet (which was meant to be a tablecloth but I never really finished it).


Now my window was ready to welcome the New Year's Eve of 2009. I felt as light as this white flying curtain blown by the wind of 2008's very last day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night, the New Year's Eve, was a beautiful night for me. I started the night with a little gloomy feeling though. I remembered that last year new year's eve, I was with Gabriel. I was thinking of those sweet moments a lot and how I miss to be with Gabriel again.

Suddenly I got a sms; it was from Eddy: "ellie, flash back what you were doing last year"... Oh dear, I was the happiest girl on earth because I was with my love.

And Eddy said: "You should be happy, because not everybody can enjoy tonight's new year eve".


I felt down crying and finally asleep with both the image of being with Gabriel and my flying and shinning white curtain in my mind.


I woke up just before 12 because of the sounds of the endless fireworks. At first, I was so hesitate to get up, but my curiosity forced me (thank you dear curiosity). I went out to the terrace, and got so amazed. The sky was full of fireworks, so magical! My city had never been like this before. There were fireworks from almost all corners of the city. I was stunned!

After few minutes standing not knowing what to do but looking up the sky, suddenly I remembered Mama and my father. I went inside and asked them to hurry to see the fireworks. And there we were, sitting in our terrace enjoying the fireworks. The sky was so bright in red, green, yellow and the mixed colors of the fireworks.

It was so amazing, never felt like this before, really. I had seen the fireworks in Disneyland, in Italy when I went on vacation with Gabriel's family, in Singapore last new year's eve watching the fireworks from the most exclusive spot, and nothing can compare the beauty of the fireworks in my city last night. The ambiance and the cheerfulness of the people of my city celebrating the 2009 new year were felt in the air, strongly.

I didn't take the photo, but I captured it well in my mind and I believe it is unforgettable.

Back to my bedroom with its shinning flying white curtain and sparkling beads, it was around 1 a.m, and there were still some fireworks. I sent sms to Gabriel and wished him a shinning year ahead. Oh, my dear Gabriel has been missing in action escaping to his cave for 4 months now.


There have been a lot of sms and emails, and song, and story, and call that have not been replied. And my heart is no longer sad and confused but just accepting serenely. Maybe this sms would also not be replied and be alone blown by the wind...

It is ok, love is love.

And I wish myself:

more flowers in Love and Life...

more cheerfulness and creativity...

more strength and I keep holding on to my drop of Hope.....

more knowledge and wisdom

more prosperous

And I wish more light to 'Dunia' (the world) and warmness to the people of the world....

ohhhh... I can't wait to fly again very soon to be with Gabriel and together see the world more...