Mariamellie

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I’ve just came back from taking a morning walk.

The idea was spontaneous, it was the first thing came to my mind after I took some long and deep breaths of fresh morning air when the stars were still shining on the light blue orange sunrise sky.

So I went out for walking. I set up a destination – Bubur Ayam Ludira. It is just a destination, a desired destination, so that I would know where to go of this journey of walking, and what I get when I arrived would be the gift. This time I realize that it is not the destination that I need most, but the walking.

It was 5.30 when I went out of the front door. The weather was so nice. Blue sky, fresh air, sunrise, birds singing. I just walked in my normal speed, which means for me not too slow not too fast. But I guess for other girls, it is very fast.

I met some people along the way, mostly the elder people who also took a walk, jogging, or riding bicycle. We shared smile. That was really nice for me. That’s the good thing living in Jogja, because when you smile, people smile back at you. If you give a smile to a Javanese, he gives you a smile and a nod of respect. You get double.

I met someone jogging; the nice thing is that he did not need any attire for jogging; no running shoes just old sleepers, no running pants just short normal pants, and shirt. That’s all.

When I was on the way to my desired destination, I passed by Good Net. I stopped for a while because there was a voice in my head saying: “hey, what about you stop for a while there and log on to Yahoo mail, and say hi to eddy”. That was a good idea I thought. But this time, spontaneousness was not needed. I remember Gabriel said: “stop for a while, and feel if this is what you really want”. So I stopped, took a breath, and feel if this was really what I wanted. No, it was not what I wanted, and my mind figured out the reasons.

Yes, it is like that. You feel if you want something, feel if it is really what your soul wants, and your mind figure out the reasons and planning the ways.

I thought it would be a good choice of destination for next time walking.

So I continued walking.

I looked far to see if my destination was still far. I knew where Ludira was, but I actually did not know where the Bubur Ayam exactly was. But when I looked far to check where Ludira was, I was not sure. I could not see exactly. I saw a traffic light and I thought it was probably there around the traffic lights, I was not sure. But the traffic light was still far far away. “Never mind”, I thought, “never mind if I have to walk that far”.

But suddenly I saw the Bubur Ayam, and I knew that it was the Bubur Ayam my destination, and that was Ludira. It was just few steps from the spot I thought my destination was still further away.

The feeling was very nice; it was a surprise, a relief, and it was light; light in my body, light in my head, light in my heart, and the world was light. It was only one look and I saw my destination. I arrived at my destination.

The way back home was also nice. It felt faster than when I went to my destination. The view was different for I saw the two mountains. The sun was shinning brighter and there were more people on the street.

I did enjoy walking home with Bubur Ayam with me. I have reached my destination and I have my gift. It was warm, I felt warm and alive.